Hardship is a test from the Almighty. For me, that is God. For you, it could be the Universe or whatever you believe in. But, hardship and uncertainty are most certainly a test and an opportunity for you to grow. Will you grow through it or will you medicate yourself with excuses? In today’s article, I’m going to share what you need to do when you are going through hardship.
To grow through hardship, you must forcefully adopt the mindset of someone who continues to honor his word, meet his deadlines and fulfill his responsibilities regardless of how you feel.
Nothing changes without action and in some cases, calculated inaction.
Hardship often provides you with the option to embrace victimhood. It has been the case with me.
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5 Ways To Deal With Hardship In Life
1. Change Your Attitude
My family was going through a rough time and I remember sitting on my bed on a Sunday, just wallowing over my life circumstances.
I repeatedly uttered words of negativity and embraced self-defeating thoughts entirely.
“My life is horrible. Nothing is going to work out. I’m being punished. I feel hopeless, so on and so forth…”
The more that I sat with this victim mentality, the worse I felt.
I could not think of any solutions nor would my mind allow me to.
The entire day went like that and I spread it to others around me.
But, then I sat with myself and observed someone who was like a reflection of me and I remember feeling pity.
That behavior and mindset looked so pathetic to me because I had an opportunity to observe it in someone else.
At that moment, I realized that nothing was as bad as my mind made it out to be.
If I so choose, I could view every single hardship or tough event as a hopeless circumstance of life or I could view it as simply a test or challenge for me to grow through.
Put differently, I could be a fighter or a victim.
I’ll tell you what, being a fighter is much better than being a victim.
It was at that moment, that I realized how imperative it was for me to make my mind an ally.
To make it an ally, I had to beat it into submission and then choose to adopt an attitude and way of thinking that encouraged me to be a fighter and not a victim.
If you are reading this article and you feel depressed or you’re going through extreme hardship, the first and most important thing you need to do is change your attitude.
You can change your attitude by changing the things you say to yourself and the lens in which you view yourself, life and the world.
You are not a victim of anything in life.
You are a fighter and a survivor.
This means that you are willing to do whatever it takes to stay afloat and to make it out of this situation, even if it takes forever.
Resilience comes from being a fighter who refuses to cave or quit in the face of adversity.
I promise you this, prioritize resilience in your life and you will have one of the most powerful mindsets amongst most people you meet.
This is what winners are made of.
When you are able to show up in life with a healthy and strong attitude, you’ll do whatever it takes to change the circumstances of your life, regardless of how you’re feeling or what’s happening around you.
Far too often, in this day and age, we are encouraged to just sit around and feel our feelings.
But, let’s be honest with ourselves, you can allow yourself to experience those feelings while you’re working on building your body, earning some money, doing acts of kindness and showing up for the people around you.
I’m not saying that you have to avoid your feelings.
Not at all.
But, you do not have to let feelings be the driver of your life.
Don’t catastrophize hardship.
Normalize it in your mind and you will be better prepared and equipped to ride the waves of life.
2. Do not numb yourself
I like to think that life is constantly trying to teach us valuable lessons and at times, in painful and unexpected ways.
But, these lessons are probably crucial for your existence.
I would even go so far as to argue that it’s the kind of lesson that could improve your life in the future in unimaginable ways.
If you are numbing yourself with unnecessary drugs and vices, how are you going to have the ability to observe what is happening to you with the intention of picking up valuable insight?
People who turn to vices are looking for a cheap escape and a false sense of happiness instead of prioritizing growth.
You don’t need to numb yourself from pain if you are prepared for it, expecting it and looking forward to healing and growing from it.
I understand that there are certain circumstances that necessitate medical intervention but for the most part, you should not be drinking and drugging your way through hardship.
You’re just making your life infinitely harder in the long run.
Why poison yourself slowly because you’re experiencing the pain of a flesh wound that could heal in a few weeks?
Give yourself the freedom and opportunity to deal with hardship.
You’d seriously shock yourself at what you are capable of doing if you just tried to be resilient and smart about how you handle pain and grief.
3. Have a vision for better times
I took a break from writing this article to think about what I actually think about.
I observed my thoughts for a few hours and I was surprised by how frequently my mind visited topics that are stressful, sad or problematic.
Uncontrolled, the mind is a beast that can destroy you.
Once there’s a recurring thought with an emotional connection, it will repeatedly show up every day, multiple times per day.
It made me realize that I have to consciously insert the kind of thoughts that I want to have in my mind.
Like your body, it is essential to feed your mind with healthy content.
One of the ways in which you can tap into motivation, strength, optimism and peace is by vividly picturing a future for yourself that has what you desire.
Repeatedly do this.
Lay in bed or sit on a comfortable chair and visualize things that will make you happy to have or be in the future.
Sit in this state until you start to feel some energy rushing through you.
When the dark cloud starts to spread open and you feel the light warming you up emotionally, that’s when you’re ready to tackle your day.
I picked up this technique from Joe Dispenza and I highly recommend his books and videos.
Apart from visualization, I encourage you to read articles like this or books on the subject of motivation, life, philosophy and so forth.
Give your brain useful and healthy content to clip and replay to offset all the self-defeating and depressive thoughts that have been playing in your mind unchecked and unregulated.
Lastly, change your beliefs by altering your self-talk.
When you break down most problems and fears, you’ll often find a root cause. It’s either a belief that is affecting you or a situation that needs to be altered.
When you believe something that is hindering your progress in life, it is imperative that you change that belief.
Replace that belief with a more empowering, useful and positive belief.
Then, take action on your new belief to create evidence that your brain can draw on to embrace this belief.
It’s a lot easier to deal with hardship in life when you have a set of beliefs that equip you with the mental fortitude required to move through life successfully.
4. Take care of yourself
As much as you may have people in your life who care about you, nobody cares enough to do what needs to be done for you to survive and thrive.
You have to exercise effort and discipline to make sure that you are eating correctly, exercising regularly, working on your goals, grooming yourself, socializing, sleeping adequately, having fun and making good decisions.
Nobody deserves more of your love than you do.
You cannot properly care for others without making sure that you are cared for.
So, invest in acts of self-love and self-care on a daily basis to ensure that you are giving yourself the required tools and energy to deal with hardship.
These little things may seem unimportant when you have a huge problem in life to deal with but neglect them and you will set yourself up to fail.
Direct a lot of care towards yourself so that you can be present for those who need you during hardship.
5. Remove energy vampires from your life
How often do you take inventory of the people in your life?
You have a finite amount of energy to share on a daily basis.
Good people who care about you may take some of your energy but they’ll give you some energy in return.
It’s a mutually beneficial relationship in which you both show up to give.
But, there are some people who just want to take from others.
I’m not just referring to monetary possessions.
These people want to take your energy without giving you any in return.
They want your time, affection, attention and energy while dumping their issues on you to soak up like a sponge so that they can walk away each day feeling liberated and at ease.
You walk away feeling empty inside and used up.
That’s an energy vampire and you have to get rid of them.
Sometimes, it may be people who you cannot get rid of.
In that case, you have to keep your distance from them or limit the amount of energy you give to them.
Be extremely protective of your time and energy because they’re important.
Don’t waste them on energy vampires who don’t truly care about you. .
Toxic people create toxic people and damaged people damage people.
Do not become collateral damage in someone else’s decisions.
Protect yourself by refining the group of people you surround yourself with.
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You are going to get through this.
I promise you that.
Take it from someone who lived with an autoimmune disease that inflames and attacks my joints whenever I flare up.
The pain may be excruciating right now but it won’t last forever.
Trust me, you’ll get through this.
Ride the storm, have a healthy attitude, do good things to support yourself during this time, pray and meditate to visualize a better future, take care of yourself and lean on caring and good people at times.
Give it some time and you’ll get through this.
I know you can.
Tough times make tough people.
Hang in there.
I hope this article on what to do when you are going through hardship was helpful and comforting. Please share some of your tips or stories with us in the comment section below. We all could use some support during this time.