The temptation to send a second text when someone doesn’t reply to you is sometimes overwhelming. The more invested you are in the conversation, the harder it is to resist double texting. The issue we face is one that deals with desperation and neediness.
Romantically speaking, desperation and neediness do not facilitate the development or furtherance of attraction. It may even have an adverse effect. However, there are times when double texting is an option.
So this article is going to explore the art of double texting.
Here’s what we want to do: double text without projecting desperation and neediness and without inciting expectations and pressure.
I’ve researched, experimented, and deduced that there is a way to double text without causing harm to the courtship or relationship.
What Is Double Texting?
As the term suggests, double texting is the act of sending a second message to someone who hasn’t received or replied to your first text.
Prior to the development of cellphones, double texting was unknown. All we could rely on were telephone calls or letters.
Now, however, we have access to instant messaging. It offers many benefits, but not without a price.
One of the stigmas of double texting is that it relates to a sense of desperation and neediness. Without any restriction, someone can indulge in double texting at every opportunity. Left unaddressed, double texting can turn into a barrage of unanswered text messages that completely turn off the recipient.
And yet, there are instances when double texting can have a positive effect on a relationship. It can display affection, care, and interest for the other person. It could also show a lack of ego and arrogance.
Is Double Texting A Turn Off?
From my experience, I can attest that double texting is not a turn-off if you partake in this behavior sparingly and with purpose. In fact, double texting can have a positive effect on attraction when a conversation is flowing smoothly and enthusiastically.
Someone who is attracted to and interested in you will interpret a double text as a reciprocation of desire.
This can further the development of closeness, trust, and connection because the other person feels safe enough to invest in you as well.
During the courtship, it’s the unspoken cues and signs of interest that matter. So, even if your double text has nothing to do with your desire, the act itself can deliver a positive message about your interest and desire.
Conversely, double texting is a turn-off to someone who isn’t quite certain about you. If they’re barely attracted to or interested in you, then showing them more interest and desire through frequent texts will only diminish their desire.
My biggest concern with frequently double-texting someone is it’s ability to diminish the positive effects of uncertainty and anticipation during the courtship.
Wondering about how someone feels about you is part of the investment process. Not allowing this to occur may have adverse effects on attraction and interest levels.
When Is It Okay To Double Text?
1. When The Conversation Is Flowing
During a text conversation that is engaging and exciting with obvious signs of enthusiasm and interest from the recipient, sending a double text wouldn’t manifest a negative result. If anything, your display of interest and enthusiasm may encourage the other person to fully engage with you.
2. During A Time-Sensitive Matter
I don’t think there’s any issue with sending a double message when there is an issue or time-sensitive matter that needs to be addressed.
The recipient cannot and will not view it as overbearing or needy when it’s obvious that your intention is to solve a problem or attain some kind of valuable information.
For example, if you were arranging a date with someone and needed confirmation on time so that you could schedule it into your calendar before something else came up, it’s perfectly acceptable to double text.
3. During A Time Of Tragedy
When someone is going through a catastrophic event or is in clear need of support, sending a double text to check up on them and offer support is always received positively.
A gentle reminder that you are thinking of them and sending good wishes their way is an honorable and kind gesture that only enhances closeness and trust.
4. When You Have Something Exciting To Share
Something that both men and women find attractive in others is passion and enthusiasm for one’s own interests.
It displays your identity and provides you with an opportunity to be authentic while sharing parts of yourself with them.
When some news drops that excites you or shocks you, it’s generally well-received when you send a second message related to that. There’s a point to double texting and you aren’t just being desperate or needy for attention.
How To Double Text Without Turning Off The Other Person
1. Be Patient
Before you even hit send on your second text, be sure that you have given the other person enough time to respond.
Patience always pays in all types of relationships.
If it hasn’t been more than an hour since your initial text and there’s no imminent reason to send a double text, just wait for a few more hours.
Also, when you do double text later on, it won’t appear as if you’re super needy or clingy because you waited for a good amount of time.
2. Keep It Light
Another tip for double texting pertains to tone. The last thing you want to do is send a message that easily reads as desperate, needy, clingy, or agitated.
That’s going to turn off the other person.
Passive aggressive behavior never translates well in relationships. Let your double text be casual, relaxed, and simple.
Don’t partake in any games or manipulation either.
3. Reference The Previous Message
If the context permits, try using the initial message as a springboard to send your double text. Even if your objective is to gain their attention, subtlety in your approach is still advisable.
For example, you can say, “Hey, I saw this hilarious meme that reminded me of what we were talking about…”
4. Provide Value
In the event that the conversation pertains to business, I would actually advise you to provide value as a follow-up text.
Again, even if the recipient can observe your intention to gain their attention, they’ll appreciate the fact that you aren’t wasting their time by providing more substance and value in your double text.
5. Choose An Appropriate Time
Does it make sense to send a double text when the other person is unavailable, in a meeting, on a trip, or asleep?
It doesn’t. If you’re going to send a follow-up message, choose a time when you suspect that they will be available to see your message and reply without you coming across as intrusive or inconsiderate.
Also, this simple technique maximizes your chance of actually getting a reply.
6. Know When To Stop
Once you’ve sent a second message, you have to accept whatever outcome occurs. There’s no point in sending more texts because the average person isn’t so inundated with texts and deadlines that they can’t spare a second to reply to your texts in days.
To persistently text someone who isn’t replying to you is a violation of your self-respect, time, and effort.
Worse of all, your effort may be met with criticism because the other person may feel like you’re harassing or bothering them.
If your gut instinct is telling you that the recipient is just ignoring you or ghosting you, let them. Don’t bother diminishing yourself by chasing after someone who is showing signs of low interest.
Final Thoughts
We’ve reached the end of this article on double texting, my friend. What I hope is that you have attained all the relevant information you need to double text without turning off people.
As long as your approach is correct and you can exercise discretion, you should be able to determine when it’s okay to double text someone and when it isn’t.
When it comes to romantic relationships, I can assure you that the right person will not even put you in a position to double text them because they’ll always make enough time for you.
Invest your time in those types of people.
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