If you’re struggling to cope and deal with a friend who is ignoring you, I can help. I’ve been through this before, and having overcome some tumultuous problems in my friendships, I’m equipped with some incredible knowledge on conflict resolution. I also have a law degree, so I know a thing or two about arguing my point without causing hell. This article will focus on what to say to a friend who won’t talk to you.
All forms of relationships require some degree of balance. By all means, focus on the other person’s feelings, needs, and opinions, but at the same time, don’t discard your own.
The next thing I would tell you is to take ownership of your behavior. This means taking responsibility for what you have done, the effects of your behavior, and how you handle the situation going forward.
What you don’t need to do is engage in confrontational behavior or pettiness.
When writing this article, I’m operating under the assumption that your friend has stonewalled you repeatedly. This means that they haven’t replied to any of your messages over a period of time.
If that isn’t the case, I would advise you to be patient and give it a bit more time before assuming that there is a problem. We want to take a personal crisis or a situation unrelated to you into account before approaching them.
Examples Of What To Say To Your Friend
Instead of just giving you general advice, what I’ve done is compile a list of messages you can send to your friend that are designed to elicit communication or open a dialogue without being confrontational.
The goal is to get them to talk to you, address the problem, and resolve it.
Let’s avoid unnecessary arguments. If one arises, we want to keep it respectful and aligned with reconciliation over rebuttals.
A lot of these texts or examples include a question at the end, and this is intentional. If you just send statement-based text, it doesn’t really create a dialogue.
If your friend were to ignore a question, then it would be clearer that there is a genuine problem.
Some of these texts operate under the assumption that you don’t know why they’re upset with you, while others do.
At the same time, if your friend is being extremely disrespectful and the reaction doesn’t fit the reason, then you shouldn’t entertain it. Don’t retaliate disrespectfully. Instead, walk away and tell them that you’ll continue this conversation when they’ve calmed down.
1. Show concern
“Hi (Friend’s Name), I can’t help but notice that we haven’t talked in a while. I miss you, and I’m concerned. Have I done something to upset you?”
2. Acknowledge their feelings
“Hey, I know that you’re upset, but I really hope you’re okay. I really want to talk and find out what’s going on so that we can fix things. Are you free to talk now?”
3. Apologize where necessary
“I know that I’ve upset (or hurt you), and I completely understand why you feel that way. I messed up, and I’m sorry.”
4. Show an eagerness to listen
“I just want you to know that I’m here when you’re ready to talk about how you feel or what happened. There’s no expiration date on that. I really want to be there for you and to understand what you’re feeling.”
5. Respect their choice for space
“Hey, I thought that I’d text you to check up on you. Are you okay? I also understand if you need some time and space right now. I’m here for you, and I hope that we can talk soon because I really miss you.”
6. Emphasize the value of the friendship
“I need you to know that the friendship that we have is so important to me, and I really hope we can work through this. Please know that I’m here and that I’m willing to do what is necessary to restore our friendship.”
7. Show a gesture of goodwill
“Regardless of what’s happening right now, I’m your friend, and if there’s anything you need or if there’s anything I can do to help make things better between us, I’ll do it because this friendship means a lot to me.”
Send A Follow Up Text
In some cases, it takes more than one or two attempts to reconcile after hurting your friend. Obviously, if your friend is ignoring you out of pettiness or to hurt you, there comes a time when you have to let things be.
But if there’s a good reason for them to be upset in a way that encourages them to ignore you, a gentle reminder of your intention to reconcile and to make things right can go a long way in showing them that you care.
Just don’t do this if your friend is manipulative or frequently ignores you. Chasing them will only reinforce this type of behavior in them.
That brings us to the end of this article on what to say to a friend who won’t talk to you. I want you to know that it can take some time for things to get better. So, keep a cool head, be patient, and be sincere.
If your friend ignores your follow up texts, the rejection may trigger feelings of anger and frustration. Try not to be reactive by retaliating with those feelings.
Instead, say nothing if you have nothing nice to say.