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How To Know If Your Friend Is Mad At You

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There isn’t a single friendship that is perfect in this world. From time to time, you are bound to make your friend mad and vice versa. But, not being aware of this can have long-term problems for the friendship. So, in this article, I’m going to share some of the signs on how to know if your friend is mad at you.

I hate to say it but I’ve been on the receiving end of this situation more times than I would like to have been.

Additionally, I’ve also been the one who has been mad at my friends.

So, based on that experience, I can share some of the most common and subtle signs on how to know if your friend is mad at you.

With that being said, let’s jump straight into this article, shall we?

Related post: How to deal with friends who get mad when you say no

1. They ignore your texts

One of the most common signs your friend is mad at you is when they completely ignore your texts. 

You may see them online and yet they ignore you on purpose. 

They blue tick you or just leave your messages unread.

As petty as this may be, it’s the easiest way for someone to let you know that they are upset with you and do not want to talk as yet. 

Related post: Why is my friend ignoring my text?

2. They don’t return your calls

One could argue that perhaps there’s an explanation for why they aren’t replying to your texts but if you follow that up with calls and they don’t answer or return them, then your friend is mad at you.

It’s just rude and impolite to ignore a friend who is making an effort to contact you.

This becomes more apparent when you keep trying to call your friend but they don’t answer, cut your call or never call you back. 

Related post: My friend won’t talk to me after a fight

3. They’re rude to you and passive-aggressive

Let’s say that your friend is still in communication with you but there’s a sense of bitterness and anger resonating from their demeanor or online activity.

Rather than treat you well and be excited to hang out with you, they’re rude and aggressive. 

When you try to communicate via texts, they reply with one word answers or they’re sarcastic and insulting.

4. They give you the cold shoulder

A friend who is not confrontational may opt for a different approach to express their anger towards you and that could be through a lack of expression.

In other words, they freeze you out.

Their responses are dry, uninterested and short. 

They are devoid of emotions towards you and behave as if they are indifferent towards you. 

All conversations with them are short lived and one sided. 

This is definitely a sign your friend is mad at you. 

5. They stood you up

Another petty and poor way of expressing anger is through the cancellation of plans without exercising any warning.

Perhaps, this friend of yours is not known for standing you up and if they are forced to cancel, they are considerate and inform you well in advance.

So, when they abandon all of those thoughtful and considerate gestures to simply stand you up after an event that seemingly upset them, it’s obvious that your friend is mad at you.

This is even more true if the plans you had with them were something that they were looking forward to for a while. 

A sudden and drastic change in their desire to go out with you and without warning is not something that should be ignored and is usually a symptom of a bigger problem. 

6. They spend more time with others rather than you

I’ve noticed that whenever a friend is mad at me, I’ll often find them gravitating towards another friend. 

Ordinarily, they don’t shower this friend with as much attention because they’re busy with you.

But, ever since that ‘incident’ that occurred between the two of you, it’s become evident that they are spending time they would spend with you on some other person.

7. They won’t commit to any plans

Perhaps your friend is still communicating with you and not being overly upset but when it comes to making plans or spending time together, they’re flakey.

They respond with generic replies that are non-commital. 

It almost feels like they want to be around you but also don’t want to at the same time. 

8. They drop subtle hints

You may notice that your friend is seemingly normal with you but they bring up the incident or issue in a very subtle way.

They may circle around the issue without directly expressing their anger or disapproval for what you may have said or how you behaved.

Usually, all their behavior gives off this vibe that they are hoping or waiting for you to bring up the issue so that they have an opportunity to unload and express themselves. 

Alternatively, your friend seems slightly critical of you with certain remarks that seem linked to the issue that has occurred.

The easiest way to know if your friend is mad

If you feel like your friend is displaying some of the behaviors above then the best way to handle the situation is to deal with it head-on.

Yes, some problems don’t need to be addressed and time can heal the wound.

But, when it seems as if this is something that is ongoing and not getting any better, then it’s a good idea to bring it up and ask your friend if they are upset with you.

The key to doing this in a way that doesn’t blow up in your face is to go about it from a position of concern and care rather than annoyance.

Don’t be confrontational as this will trigger your friend in such a way that he or she becomes defensive or aggressive. 

Here’s an example of how to ask your friend if they are mad at you – “Hey X, I feel worried that I’ve upset you over something because you haven’t been the same with me for a while. I’d love to talk about it and work it out. Are you upset with me?”

If you are aware of the situation that has upset your friend, it would be even more appropriate to reference that directly. 

Related post: How do you know if a friendship is over?

In conclusion

Dealing with disagreements and problems in any kind of relationship or friendship is normal.

As long as the two of you are mature and want to work through it, there’s no reason why the friendship should end or continue to suffer.

Try to remember that a real apology acknowledges how your behavior may have hurt your friend. 

Don’t just rely on a simple, “I’m sorry”.

Make an effort to be caring and truly sincere when apologizing and I’m sure that it will help the situation.

At the same time, don’t allow yourself to be treated like garbage and trash if you have made every effort to make amends but your friend is just being abusive and toxic.

With that being said, I hope this article on how to know if your friend is mad at you was insightful and helpful. Be sure to leave your thoughts or questions in the comment section below.

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