Recently, I came across a quote that took me by surprise because it rings so true – “Most of the relationships in your life will end.” I’m the kind of person who never wants to give up on a friendship but some of them can’t be saved. It sucks but it’s true. Here’s how to know when a friendship is over.
The reason why this article is so important is that you don’t want to suffer for an extended period of time on a friendship that is over.
It will only cause you a great deal of pain and stress.
Here’s a quick look at how to know when a friendship is over:
- You no longer talk to each other.
- Neither of you makes an effort to hang out.
- You constantly argue or fight with each other.
- There are no good feelings left for each other.
- You no longer share anything in common.
- They hate you.
- They won’t talk to you at all.
- They refuse to forgive you.
- They won’t make an effort to make amends with you.
- They’ve chosen other friends over you.
With that being said, let’s talk about each of these signs in more detail so you know what to look out for in real life situations.
Related post: When should you give up on a friendship?
1. You no longer talk to each other
When texts go unanswered and calls stop being returned, it becomes quite evident that the friendship is over.
Irrespective of what type of friendship or relationship you have, not being in contact with each other for months at a time will kill the bond that you share.
Yes, you may consider yourself to still be ‘friends’ with this person but the closeness and very essence of sharing your life with each other as friends is no longer a factor in the relationship.
I believe that every friendship has to be nurtured and that takes place through shared experiences and communication.
So, when neither of you are making an effort to communicate and talk to each other, that’s how to know when a friendship is over.
And look, we’re living in uncertain times which prohibits us from really getting to spend time with our friends doing fun things.
So, the only thing left is communication and once that seizes, it’s the end.
2. Neither of you makes an effort to hang out
There are some friendships that thrive on shared experiences over daily or regular communication.
I’ll be the first to admit that I have some friends who I see after months of no communication and still consider them to be friends.
But, without those meetings, the friendships eventually die off.
It’s the fact that we actually make an effort to meet and do things that keeps the friendships alive.
On the flip side of things, there are friends who I chat to online almost daily but our bond isn’t as strong because we don’t meet, if at all.
So, those friendships never truly develop into lifelong friendships that we are all seeking to build in our lives.
With that being said, if this type of friendship relied primarily on shared experiences and that has stopped altogether for no plausible or explainable reason, then that’s how you know the friendship is over.
3. You constantly argue or fight with each other
I don’t care what some people say, constant fighting and arguments in a friendship are toxic. Especially when it overwhelms you and completely drowns out any good feelings for each other.
This is definitely one of the signs your friendship is over.
When the two of you transition into a disrespectful space and you can’t help but bump heads with each other, it’s a problem.
4. There are no good feelings left for each other
Your ‘friend’ may not be a bad person and neither are you. But, enough damage could have happened in your friendship to sour any good feelings.
I’ve been friends with someone for over a decade and over the last few years, enough things have happened to make me realize that I don’t actually like my friend.
In fact, I often feel like this friend doesn’t add value to my life anymore and is a source of ridicule and disrespect.
Perhaps they feel the same way about me and that’s why the friendship has reached this point.
When those feelings of fondness and excitement to be friends with someone disappears and is replaced by resentment, bitterness, anger and annoyance, that’s how to know when a friendship is over.
5. You no longer share anything in common
More often than not, it’s our common likes, interests and opinions that bring people together, especially in friendship.
But, people are constantly changing or getting stuck.
It’s one or the other.
The problem is that when one or both people change with time and experiences, it can change the entire dynamic of the relationship.
In such an event, it becomes increasingly difficult to connect on a real and friendship level because you have changed as a person.
Some friends manage to grow together whereas others end up growing apart altogether.
This could very well be one of the reasons why your friendship is over.
The two of you are no longer the people who became friends and those commonalities that brought you two together are gone.
6. They hate you
Once a friendship reaches that point of hate, it’s over and there isn’t much hope for coming back from this.
Irrespective of what happened, forgiveness is an essential component for any relationship to survive challenges.
If your friend hates you to the point that they are rude, abusive, insulting and potentially violent, it’s time to accept the end of this friendship altogether.
7. They won’t talk to you at all
Perhaps the two of you have had a fall out and since then, they haven’t communicated to you.
Understandably, when people are angry or upset, they may need some time to cool down before opening the doors of communication.
If you were in the wrong, they may even be waiting for you to make the first move.
However, if you’re trying to make amends and constantly reaching out only to be ignored, ghosted or insulted and told to leave them alone, it’s highly likely that the friendship is over.
This is especially true if it’s something that has continued to be the case for a long time.
8. They refuse to forgive you
Let’s say that you’ve spoken to your friend, communicated your apologies to them and genuinely tried to make amends.
They may have tried to fix things as well but in the end, they feel like they can’t or don’t want to forgive you.
There’s nothing more that you can do.
The friendship is over because you can’t force someone to forgive you and you definitely cannot force someone to be your friend.
Related post: How to know if your friend is mad at you
9. They won’t make an effort to make amends with you
On the flip side of things, maybe your friend has betrayed or hurt you in some way but has made absolutely no effort to make amends.
At first, you consider the possibility that they’re afraid but if that’s not the reason, then the only other plausible reason for why they haven’t apologized to you is because they don’t care.
They don’t care that you’re hurt or angry and they don’t care about the friendship because if they did, they wouldn’t be treating you in this manner.
Related post: Should I forgive my friend?
10. They’ve chosen other friends over you
When a friend completely stands you up all the time without a good reason and continuously chooses other friends over you, then it might be time to consider the possibility that the friendship is over.
It shouldn’t matter how many friends a person has.
If they care about you and the friendship, they’ll make time for you or more importantly, they won’t ditch you on that one occasion they promise to meet you only to hang out with other people.
Related post: Why you are the friend that gets left out
It can be extremely sad and difficult to say goodbye to a friendship when it’s over but always remember that the people who are meant to be in your life will gravitate towards you.
Personally, I’ve found it to be rewarding to focus on those who choose to be in my life. These are the friendships that add value and growth to my life.
In doing so, I am able to add value and positivity to them.
Things will get better, I promise you.
It may hurt right now but this experience will help you to grow into a stronger and more compassionate person.
I hope you found this article on how to know when a friendship is over to be insightful and helpful. Be sure to leave your thoughts or questions in the comment section below and I’ll reply to you.