Feeling left out in a crowd or particularly not invited to hang out with your friends can feel like a kick in the gut.
It’s truly a terrible feeling that I don’t wish on anyone and if you have experienced this on multiple occasions, I’m sure you know how painful it can be. Not to mention thoroughly emotionally draining.
You might start to even feel sorry for yourself and blame who you are. But have you ever wondered about the reasons why you are the friend that always gets left out?
Questions To Ask Yourself
Before anything, stop for a few seconds and ask yourself if what you are feeling is actually true or are you by chance mistaken and misread the situation.
It could very well be possible that your friends weren’t doing it intentionally but there’s also that chance that they did. But this article will help you discover everything you need to know and deal with it if it is true.
For now, here’s what you need to find out:
- Are you jumping to conclusions?
- Is this a common occurrence or once in a while?
- Did they think you were unavailable to hang out?
- Did any of those friends ever treat you badly in the past or present?
- Has that friend recently shown their dislike towards you?
The following reasons may be harsh and hurtful to hear but don’t take them at face value only. Also, don’t assume the worse about yourself if they do prove to be true.
1. They Could Have Forgotten About You
To give your friends the benefit of doubt, it’s likely they may have simply forgotten to message you or were just too caught up to realize that you aren’t there.
It could have also been a last-minute plan where they just decided to go somewhere at the spur of the moment.
However, it really depends if this has happened on more than one occasion.
If chances are that your friends have left you out only once or twice while genuinely feeling bad about it, then it may be best to just brush it off and move on.
However, if you find that you are almost never invited and excluded every time with no valid reason or cause, then the next few reasons might apply to you.
2. They Don’t Like You
After your continuous attempts to understand the reasons why you are the friend that always gets left out, it’s possible that your friends don’t actually like you.
They may say it to your face but if their actions are saying something else, the message is clear.
Even if you’ve discussed with them how you feel about this situation and they keep doing it, it’s obvious that they just might be friends in name only especially if you are the one making the plan and they reject you over and over again.
3. They Might Not Care About You
If you are always being left out, another possible reason is that your friends might not care about how you feel or what you want.
For whatever their reasons may be, they possibly have no interest in hanging out with you only until they have to.
They might feel like you aren’t important enough or think it’s necessary to include you. If your friends make you feel like this, it’s definitely time to move on!
4. They Might Be Using You
Do you feel like your friends only contact you when they need something?
Do they only make an effort when you’re doing something important for them but they’re gone the minute you can’t give them what they want?
Then your friends might be using you which is why they are always leaving you out.
Having friends who use you are not real friends.
They will continue to hurt you until you make the decision to stop being friends with people like this.
Those that don’t have the time to make you feel included and pretend to be your close friends are the real snakes you have to look out for.
Ways To Cope With Being Left Out
Acknowledge Your Feelings
It’s never an easy feeling being excluded by your friends but the best thing you can do for yourself is to acknowledge that it sucks. However, be sure not to overthink for too long otherwise you’ll start to pity yourself and feel even worse.
Try not to blame yourself either for being the friend that always gets left out. It can happen to anyone and it has happened to many people before.
Take it as is and accept your feelings for what they are rather than bottling them up. This way, you’ll know exactly how to move on from feeling bad about this situation anymore.
Focus On Taking Care Of Yourself
When you’ve been treated poorly for so long, it can be a huge buildup. This is why it’s best to take some time and focus on things you love.
This will remind you that there are special things out there and it will remove that constant stress you’ve been dealing with.
Try going for a run, joining a dance or book club, soak in a hot bath, treat yourself in whatever way that will make you feel good again.
Also, it’s important to surround yourself with people who do care for you and this will make you realize that those friends who treated you badly aren’t as important as you thought they were.
No one else can make you happy unless you make yourself happy. It’s as they say, ‘happiness comes from within’, so don’t allow other people to affect how you feel.
Try Inviting Them Out
If you’re unsure whether your friend’s intentions are bad or not, a great test would be to try inviting them out a few times.
As long as you aren’t paying for the entire trip, your friends should show some equal interest in hanging out with you.
If these friends are serious about being friends with you, they will make an effort to have fun and invite you after that.
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However, if you find that even after going out with them and they still ignore you in multiple ways, it’s not worth being this close with them anymore.
Find Better Friends
Don’t rush and be friends with just anyone or try to force being friends for the sake of it otherwise, you’ll just end up repeating the situation in some other way.
When you truly find someone you can connect with and share the same interests, then only will you understand that your previous friends who left you out had nothing to do with you.
They were just bad friends. But if you find a true friend who never excludes you intentionally, you’ll feel and understand the major difference.
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