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When Should You Give Up On A Friendship?

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when should you give up on a friendship

Being in a friendship with someone you trusted and relied on for many years can be heartbreaking when things go wrong. Over time you may have experienced some sort of change or shift that has affected the way you are with each other and this could be for a number of reasons.

But does this mean you should give on a friendship because it isn’t working anymore?

The only time when you truly should give up on a friendship is when the other person is toxic and damaging to you. If your friend treats you bad on multiple occasions and is known to gossip, spread lies and false rumors, give you the silent treatment, betrays your trust, or even throws a vast amount of hate towards you, then it’s best to end the friendship.

However, there are other instances where you should or should not give up on a friendship even if the other person isn’t a toxic or fake friend.

There’s quite a bit to consider before making your final decision.

Here’s a complete list of friends you should give up on and those that you may want to reconsider and forgive:

Friends You Should Give Up On

1. A One-Sided Friendship

A friendship where you are the one who constantly has to keep reaching out without receiving any response from that person is one that will prove to be hard to maintain over time.

This could be you trying to make plans but only to be canceled on with many different excuses or promises that are never met.

You may even try to talk to this friend only to be cut short or ignored for long periods of time.

No matter how much you try, this person will never put in the effort in trying to be friends with you. Their silence is often the answer – they aren’t that interested in being friends anymore.

See also: How Do You Know If A Friendship Is Over? (10 Obvious Ways)

The best thing you can do is stop trying to make it work, especially if all your efforts are ignored because you will notice how it makes you feel bad, unworthy, sad, and at a loss, if you keep chasing a friend who doesn’t want to give you equal treatment.

2. Toxic Friends

As mentioned before, toxic friends can be seriously harmful and may affect how you feel overall.

When you have a friend who is constantly finding faults with you, never has anything good to say, always underplays your success, and undermines your efforts, while spreading lies with the intention of painting you in a bad light, you really have to think about whether it’s worth being friends with them anymore.

In fact, if you give up on this friendship, it may be one of the best decisions you could make.

Unless this toxic friend apologizes sincerely and makes a conscious effort to change their bad ways, then only they will be hopeful in saving the friendship.

However, those toxic friends with solely bad intentions towards you need to go immediately.

You can never rely on them for anything and it’s also quite clear that they don’t have your best interests at heart.

3. Fake Friends

These kinds of friends are definitely ones you may want to give up on.

They lean somewhat towards toxic friends if they act on their bad desires towards you but otherwise this kind of friend will normally know you when they need something.

If you can’t give them what they want, they might even blame you.

See also: How Do Fake Friends Act? 13 Signs To Lookout For

They also tend to lie a lot and are almost never truly honest about anything.

They also tend to never give credit when deserved and may often twist stories to get the outcome they want. In moments of crisis, they will never be there for you.

4. Friends Who Lie

Another friendship you should give up on is those that lie all the time, even for the smallest of situations.

If a friend can’t be honest, it will be incredibly difficult to trust anything that they say.

You will constantly question their actions and thoughts while second-guessing their intentions.

It will also be difficult to come to this friend if you want to get something off your chest in case they do not advise you correctly.

If you ask them to keep a secret, there will always be that fear that they might spread your story and lie to your face about it.

A friendship built on lies will never last. One way or the other, the truth will always be revealed.

See also: Should Friends Be Honest With Each Other?

5. Friends Who Ignore You And Leave You Out

I’ve experienced this particular situation on a few occasions that really made me question if I should give up on this friendship.

When you’re left out of invites and often ignored, it really sucks and you might even start to feel like it’s your fault.

Friends who make you feel bad about yourself and ignore you for no valid reason aren’t worth your time.

There’s always someone else out there who will love and enjoy hanging out with you rather than these friends who pretend to like you but their actions tell otherwise.

Related: 5 Things You Can Do If Your Friends Don’t Like You

Be careful to not stick with these friends for too long especially if it starts affecting you emotionally. You could try talking to them about it but chances are, they will keep doing it.

6. Dismissive

A friend who constantly dismisses you in every way is someone you don’t need.

It could be a problem you’re facing, a situation you want to share, a feeling, or a solution to a problem, anyone who makes you feel like your words isn’t good enough to be heard is something you need to really rethink.

If you’re in a friendship where it feels like the other person is dismissive towards how you feel or think, you may want to give up on this friendship.

However, do try talking to the friend and telling them how you feel about this. They might not even realize that they are doing this.

You may also find this guide on dealing with dismissive people that may be of help.

If the friend changes their ways, then there’s no need to give up on this friendship but if they continue to treat you this way or worse after you discussed it with them, then you need to remove yourself from this friendship if it hurts you incredibly.

7. Friends Who Have Ulterior Motives

Similar to how friends who are dishonest, those that have ulterior motives towards you and act on them cannot be trusted. If a friend tells you one thing but does something else, you have to be careful for them.

If you have experienced multiple situations where your friend had ulterior motives like seeing you fail at something or setting you up for failure, there’s no reason being friends with this person because you’ll always be wary whether they have your best interests at heart or if they just want to see you hurt.

There have been many cases where a friend will try to influence you to do something that you really shouldn’t because they know how it will end.

8. Friends Who Betrayed You

In some cases where those friends have betrayed you to a serious extent, it’s best to give up on the friendship if you find that you can’t accept what they have done to you or move on even if they have tried to make it up.

Those that have betrayed you and never made any attempt to apologize or prove that they won’t repeat it again is not someone you’ll ever feel like you could trust again. They will always be issues in your friendship and once that bond breaks, it’s hard to repair again.

9. Friends Who Tell Your Secrets

Another friendship you should give up on is one where the other person cannot keep your secrets. They might even try to dig out more information from you just to share it with others.

It will be a challenge to be friends with a person who will spill your secrets and if this is your only close friend, you will never feel at peace when sharing something important with this friend for fear of them telling someone else.

If a friend has promised that they’ll keep your secret but betrays your trust on multiple occasions, you will never be able to share anything private with this person ever again and it will make you feel incredibly hurt by this person’s actions.

It’s a good move to stop being friends with someone who lies, shares your secrets, and never has your best interests in their heart.

Related: How To Deal With Friends That Keep Secrets From You

Friends Who You Should Try To Make It Work

1. Those That Are Sincere and Loyal

It’s hard to come across friends who were truly loyal the entire time you were friends with them. Not only that, their genuine amount of sincereness often took you by surprise.

Letting go of this kind of friend will be difficult but if it’s something you can overlook and forgive, then keeping this person in your life would be a good choice.

A good way to judge is to question whether being friends with this person will make you feel good.

2. Those That Are Trustworthy

Friends who never betray your trust by spying on you or spilling your secrets are gold. You know you can rely on them for most things and they’ll be there and have been there in your most critical moments.

This person will always choose you and you know with certainty that you can trust them with your life since they have always kept their word and their actions speak for themselves.

3. Those Who Have Never Made You Feel Bad or Worthless

A friend that lowers your self-confidence and makes you feel unworthy is someone you don’t need. Period.

But a friend who uplifts you treats you kindly, hypes you up when necessary is someone you need to keep around.

This person is a possible influence in the way you feel and in your life.

4. Those That Always Stuck Around (Even In Bad Times)

Loyalty is tested over time and if you are in a friendship where this person has always been there for you (not just when good things are happening) is generally someone who can handle all the bad stuff that will eventually come your way.

You know you can trust and rely on this person to help you through it because they’ve been so supportive in the past. It’s worth keeping this friend around as long as you can overcome whatever problems you’re facing right now.

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