How To Tell If Someone Is Secretly Jealous of You

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how to tell if someone is secretly jealous of you

Jealousy is one of the biggest reasons why so many people can suddenly act strange towards you or treat you badly when you least expect it.

It could come from anyone around you whether that’s someone you’ve never met in person or those that you are really close to.

However, it’s also very likely to misinterpret someone’s behavior towards you.

So, how can you tell if someone is secretly jealous of you? Jealous people will often be extremely competitive and may make you feel like your accomplishments are worth nothing. They might also pick on you, make snide remarks, give false praises, criticize you in front of others, and poke holes in your dreams to demotivate you.

There’s plenty of tell-tale signs you can look for to discover if someone is secretly jealous of you or not with the way they behave and the things they say.

Here’s what you should look out for:

Signs To Tell If Someone Is Secretly Jealous of You

They criticize everything you do

Jealous friends will never let things go. Whether you make a big mistake or a small mistake, they’re sure to bring it up as long as they can make you feel bad or embarrassed.

These friends are also quick to make judgments on the things you do and say which is one of the obvious ways to know how to tell if someone is secretly jealous of you.

You’ll notice that they are never happy with anything you do but rather enjoy and look forward to the moment just so that they can make you hear about it in some way.

They aren’t happy about your accomplishments

If someone is jealous of you, they’re never going to be happy for you, especially if you are celebrating some sort of achievement.

Because they feel insecure and inadequate, they will try to project their feelings onto you, making you feel bad in some way or convincing you that your success isn’t something to brag about or feel proud.

If they can undermine your success in some way, then only will they feel better about themselves.

They are incredibly competitive

As mentioned above, these jealous people are often very competitive which is why they cannot genuinely be happy for any of your successes and achievements unless they fake it.

They like to think they are competing with you and seeing you get ahead drives them nuts.

They’ll often feel that you don’t deserve anything.

You should try paying special attention to how often they try to undervalue your achievements while highlighting theirs in order to make it seem like they are better than you.

If you discuss your goals and dreams for the future, they’re sure to find some way to poke holes so that they can make you doubt yourself.

Rather than focusing on the positives of your career choices or dreams, they will constantly point out the many ways something won’t work out while discrediting all the positives to prove their point.

They give you false praises

Jealous people are incredibly insecure and they also don’t want you to know their true colors or admit that they are jealous of you.

They would rather attempt to give you false praises and compliments to give the impression that they are true to you or give the impression that they are incredibly nice.

The funny thing is that they usually get caught out when you hear that they are spreading lies or painting you in bad light behind your back.

I’ve also noticed that jealous people will bring up unrelated topics in a conversation to get your views on a subject and make it seem like they agree with you while telling other people the complete opposite of what they’ve told you.

Another aspect to point out is that they might even give you fake advice just to witness or hope that they may see you fail.

They will try to convince you to do something that is bad, may even go to the extent of plotting your downfall while also attempting to discourage you from doing things that will benefit you in the long run.

The sad reality in some cases is that discouraging you from achieving your dreams is one of their many goals to see you fail.

They’re always gossiping about you

This one drives me nuts because you’ll often hear a mutual friend tell you that this person is spreading nasty lies about you or things you’ve never even said.

A jealous person thrives on telling other people bad things about you simply so that they can paint in you a bad light.

Jealous friends will also never want you to be the center of focus with other people or allow you to shine in any way.

In fact, here’s a great way to tell if someone is a true friend and you’ll definitely notice the huge difference in the way a real friend will treat you.

If you do confront them about it, they will always act as if you are attacking them or pretend to be completely innocent.

However, this doesn’t stop them from twisting stories and making it seem like you are the bad party. They also will try to turn other people against you if their jealousy is quite extreme.

They distance themselves from you

If someone is really jealous of you, they may distance themselves from you and you won’t hear from them for a while.

They may even stop responding to text messages or calls and might only message you when they need something. Even then too they might leave when they can’t receive anything from you.

They are never honest

Jealous people will never give you an honest answer. They will always try to downplay or give you a vague answer if you ask for advice.

For example, if something looks good on you, they may tell you ‘it’s not that great’ or ‘it’s just okay on you’.

Don’t ever try to rely on them to give you legit information because it’s highly unlikely they ever will.

3 Things You Can Do To Deal with Someone’s Jealousy

Dealing with someone’s jealousy is a choice you have to make. There are a few things you can try but sometimes it’s best to leave it alone.

1. Understand Where It’s Coming From

Jealously often comes from an emotional reaction to a situation or person.

It could be a word or a feeling that triggers the person to respond in a jealous manner but the good news about jealousy is that it can pass eventually. However, just take note that it’s never black and white.

Sometimes, those who are close to us and feel jealous usually have some issues or problems that they are dealing with and it makes them feel insecure and unworthy.

However, it’s important to mention that a lot of jealous people are just that way because they’ve always responded to something in this manner and never found a way to break out of this toxic cycle.

So, take their jealousy as light-hearted as you can and preferably ignore it. They are usually the ones who has to overcome it on their own.

2. Take A Step Back From Them

Understanding where they might be coming from is recommended but it’s also important to know your worth. If this person’s jealousy is too emotionally draining for you, it’s best to keep your distance.

Feeling bad or guilty that this person feels this way towards you shouldn’t be your responsibility.

Yes, you can try to not talk about yourself but at a certain point you’re going to feel like all you do is putting too much effort into the friendship when it’s never returned which absolutely sucks.

By distancing yourself from this person for a certain period of time will help you feel better but it may also help this person realize that they are acting foolish and would rather leave their jealousy aside than lose the friendship they have with you.

If they do continue to be jealous and display unfavorable behavior, having a person like this in your like will only lead to you feeling bad about yourself.

3. Focus On You

The last thing you ever want to do is make it your problem that this person is so jealous of you.

Focusing all your attention to change the way they feel towards you will prove to be a fruitless effort.  You could rather focus on yourself and the people and things that make you feel happy.

After some time, you’ll truly feel the impact of the way this person had on you and what it did to your mental and emotional state.

Jealously is not an easy emotion to deal with for the person who is feeling it but it’s even more hurtful to the person on the receiving end.

See also: Can Jealous Friends Be Dangerous?

In Conclusion

If you suspect someone to be secretly jealous of you, it’s best not to pay too much attention to it unless their behavior is extremely taxing on your mind.

If their jealousy turns into bitter hate and they act on their bad intentuions, the best thing you can do is to stay away from them as much as possible.

However, some jealous people eventually get over their dislike and it’s possible to still continue being around them.

It definitely depends on the situation and person but if this jealous person is spreading malicious lies and treating you terribly, it’s time to let them go.

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