I’ve come to realize that real and true friends are hard to come by. What makes a true friend? Someone who wants you to be happy and who cares about your well being. In today’s article, we’re going to talk about the signs your friends don’t care about you.
By doing this, you can reevaluate your friend circle and decide on who deserves to be in your life and who doesn’t.
Friends who barely check up on you, don’t support your dreams, belittle you, who are jealous of you, who are never there for you in times of crises, who leave you out of get-togethers, who gossip about you and who lie to you, these are friends who don’t care about you.
It’s heartbreaking because you probably care about these people and would never treat them the way they treat you. You trust that they are your friends and care about you.
But, actions always speak louder than words.
It’s very easy for people to claim that they care about you but when push comes to shove, the ones who actually care will rise to the occasion whilst those who are fake friends will run in the opposite direction.
Be that as it may, let’s take a closer look at each of the signs your friends don’t care about you.
1. They barely check up on you
Understandably, life can be demanding and as we get older, the responsibilities we shoulder often prevent us from being present for a lot of people. But, finding a few minutes in your week to reach out to a friend you care about is nothing short of easy to do.
If you find that you are the one who is making most of the effort to maintain the friendship and keep the conversation going, that could be indicative of poor interest from your ‘friend’.
Friends who don’t care about you will barely text or return your calls. They’re never the ones initiating a conversation either – unless of course, they need something.
2. They don’t support your dreams
Having the courage and bravery to pursue your dreams in this day and age is something commendable. And the people in your life who truly care about you are going to do their best to support you. Sometimes, this may require them to speak up and provide you with some constructive criticism but it’s for your benefit.
However, not everyone in your life will be happy about you succeeding or rooting for you to win at life. It’s an unfortunate reality. The reason for this is that these people never want to see someone else be better off than them.
And as such, rather than support you, they will use any opportunity to berate you and add a wrench in your plans to chase your dreams.
3. They belittle and insult you
I think there’s a fine line between friendly banter between mates and insults which damages your confidence and ridicules you in a truly offensive manner.
It’s not always easy to differentiate between the two. I advise you to pay attention to what your gut instinct is telling you.
When you find yourself feeling hurt and attacked by a friend, don’t ignore those feelings. These are not signs of you overreacting or being oversensitive!
Often, it’s a sign your friends don’t care about you but actually resent you.
Related post: Why do friends change?
4. They are jealous of you
If you are not the type of person to dabble much in jealousy, the signs of it will fly over your head and yet others will notice it a mile away.
Jealousy can be awful, especially in friendship. These kinds of friends will not only be very competitive but they are vindictive as well.
They may go so far as to take what’s yours or undermine any of your accomplishments. I had a ‘friend’ who was unnecessarily jealous of me. If I liked something, he’d find a way to shoot it down. If I succeeded at something, he’d either ignore it altogether or find a way to diminish my hard work.
Not for any reason other than being jealous. In my opinion, this is one of the most toxic signs your friends don’t care about you.
Related post: Can jealous friends be dangerous?
5. They don’t support you in times of crisis
I keep coming back to the same quote because it rings so very true – when days are dark, friends are few.
The few who are present are the ones who actually care. They will go out of their way to help you through times of need and desperation.
Furthermore, they’ll do it from the kindness of their heart. There’s no ulterior motive nor is there an agenda. They just want to see you thrive and those are friends you can rely on.
The rest of your friends who don’t care about you will always be full of excuses. They’re never around when you need them. Your messages get ignored and your calls go straight to voicemail.
This will happen time and time again. If they do help you, it often comes at a price and they will come knocking on your door for payment.
6. They leave you out of get-togethers
Isn’t it ironic how they find the time to make arrangements to see each other but when it comes to you, then they were too busy or completely forgot?
They may go so far as to lie about hanging out while setting up a get together with other people. Being left out sucks and it isn’t something you should overlook. Speak up for yourself and share how you feel.
I’ll tell you why – it’s the perfect test.
Friends who actually care about you will apologize and make an effort in the future. Friends who don’t care will deflect the topic or make you out to be ridiculous for feeling the way you do.
7. They gossip about you
It’s not so much the act of gossiping that’s the problem but the fact that people who are supposed to be your friends are doing it about you.
Ask yourself something, what’s the need to talk behind your back or to other people about your affairs?
The worst part is when you find out that your own friends are spreading horrible stories about you to other people. If you’ve ever been in this situation, it’s truly shocking and incredibly disrespectful.
Related post: How do fake friends act?
8. They lie to you
Constantly lying to a friend defeats the point of friendship. What this indicates to me is a lack of trust and honesty. Two attributes of a friendship which are non-negotiable. Without them, you have absolutely nothing.
A friend who cares about you will avoid telling you lies.
They’d be too afraid of losing you and the friendship over something like that.
When your friends lie to you at the expense of your own happiness and well being, then you are definitely dealing with a red flag and one of the undeniable signs your friends don’t care about you.
Related post: Do my friends actually like me?
Don’t settle for uncaring friends
Honestly, you’re better off without them. At least, you won’t have to deal with constant disappointment and drama. And let’s be honest, unlike family, you have a choice to pick the kind of friends you want in life. Don’t make the mistake of selling yourself short by settling for friends who don’t care about you.
In my experience, by walking away from certain people you end up creating some space in your life for better friends who actually want to be a part of your life.
I strongly advise you to grab a pen and paper, think about the types of qualities you want in a friend and the type of friendship you want to share and make a list of the top 10 items that come to mind.
Study this list on a regular basis and measure people against it. You’ll find that this little habit attracts better people in your life whilst distancing those fake friends.
Here’s my list – I want friends in my life who:
- genuinely enjoy my company,
- care for my well being,
- spend time with me and have fun,
- are trustworthy,
- and kind-hearted.
See also: Is It OK To Have No Friends?
I’d love for you to share your list with me in the comment section below.
With that being said, I really hope you found this article on the signs your friends don’t care about you to be eye-opening and insightful. Please feel free to leave your thoughts or questions in the comment section below.