When someone close to you becomes jealous, it’s stressful for you, right?
You might feel like it’s your fault and a ton of questions might be running through your head, so let me make it easier for you.
Jealous friends are only dangerous to a certain extent unless you allow it to affect you.
Most of the time, jealousy comes in many different forms, where it can be harmless or really harmful to you depending on the type of jealousy. Some friends who are jealous eventually let it go but others will treat you differently by trying to affect your emotional state through cheap tactics like bringing your confidence down, backbiting, spreading lies, and turning your friendship into a toxic mess.
It’s not as difficult to spot a jealous friend but I’ve made it less complicated for you to instantly spot the common signs.
You’ll also learn how to not focus your attention on jealous friends but rather deal with them in a fashionable way.
Here’s everything you could and need to know about jealous friends:
Signs of Jealous Friends
These are the common signs of jealous friends but if a friend shows all of these signs, you might not want to continue being friends with them since this can be harmful to your emotional state.
However, if it’s just one or two, then don’t pay too much attention to your friend’s jealousy as it may resolve itself.
- They make you feel bad about yourself
- They don’t offer any sort of help or support
- If they do offer support, they tend to mislead you
- They feel like it’s a competition and want to outdo you
- They say bad things about you behind your back
- They constantly make you the focus of the joke
- They laugh and feel happy when something goes wrong for you
- They’re always looking to pick a fight or point out your flaws
- They give you the silent treatment
- They underplay your achievements and undermine your choices
Root Causes of Jealousy (Is it your fault?)
There could be many reasons as to why your friends suddenly become jealous but it usually boils down to this depending on the circumstances:
Jealousy tends to form when someone has low self-esteem and confidence and may see your success as something they aren’t capable of.
To see you being appreciated or liked is hard for them to deal with but this usually has nothing to do with you at all.
You’ll tend to notice that they are constantly making comparisons between themselves and you.
It is by no means that you are responsible for them feeling jealous of you and it’s something they should learn to work out on their own.
Because at the end of the day, if it’s not you who they are jealous of, then it’s going to be someone else.
Your friend might feel like he/she is competing with you and seeing you being well off and living the life that they want makes them feel jealous and feeds their insecurities.
Healthy competition is not a bad thing but when this competition adds fuel to the fire, then you have a problem. When a friend uses this jealousy to torment you, it’s important to think carefully if you still want them in your life.
It could have been something they have learned or witnessed from their family members as they grew up.
If they have siblings, sharing could have been an issue or one child getting more attention than them which made them jealous in the past and they now continue to respond to situations in this way.
Why Jealous Friends Can Be Dangerous
In some cases, a friend’s jealousy can easily be resolved or you can opt to ignore it, however there are cases where jealousy can be dangerous and harmful to you.
Let’s take a quick look at what jealousy could make a friend do to you:
1. Backbiting and Gossiping
Talking behind your back and saying mean or spiteful things is something that’s very likely to happen if your friend’s jealousy is serious.
They can suddenly turn on you and start twisting your stories in favor of painting a bad impression of you.
This type of friend is not worth keeping around anymore since they have crossed a serious line.
The only thing on this friend’s mind is to hurt you by ruining your reputation which is a devious thing to do and it’s very hard to trust this friend ever again.
2. Happy to see your fail
This type of consequence of jealousy is not only hurtful to you but to that person themselves. It simply leads to that person eventually hating themselves when they realize how awful they treated other people.
Friends like this are overjoyed when something bad happens to you or when something doesn’t work out.
They may even plot your downfall just so that they see you are unhappy and this is what makes jealous friends dangerous.
With this kind of friend, it’s hard to really say that they are a true friend since real friends are those who are kind, supportive, and willing to celebrate your wins, not your downfalls.
3. They make you feel that your achievements are unworthy
Jealous friends will try to undermine your progress by saying that ‘you just got lucky‘ or you could have been better at something.
They’ll also try to deflate your dreams and goals by telling you it could never happen to you in particular while also trying to make it seem like your achievements are not worth celebrating.
In this case, having a friend who isn’t there to support you is the last thing you need in your life.
But having people who are sincerely happy to see you strive and grow are the kind of people you want to invite into your life.
So, be careful with this kind of jealousy because it can easily stop you from living to your full potential.
4. They Abuse Your Verbally
It’s likely that they will try to twist your mind by verbally abusing you and undermining your confidence. You’ll notice that they tend to pick on any little thing that you do whether that’s the way you dress, walk or things you say and do.
Should You Stay With Jealous Friends?
Now, this may be a big question on your mind, should you continue your friendship with them?
The only way to know is to figure out whether your friend’s jealousy is harmless or if that friend has treated you poorly in too many ways as mentioned above.
Having a bitter and jealous friend can prove to be too hard to handle and more toxic if you hold onto that friendship.
It may not seem like it’s affecting you right now but eventually, it will. If your friend’s jealousy is something that you know he/she will eventually get over on their own, then don’t pay any attention to it.
However, if your friend is backbiting, being mean, telling you hurtful things, enjoying seeing you unhappy, please do consider removing yourself from this friendship.
How to Deal With Jealous Friends
There are four simple ways to deal with jealous friends but it depends on whether you want to spend your time and effort on this. Here’s what you can do:
With jealous friends, the right action would be to be patient and kind if you truly care for this person and want them to be in your life.
You could try helping them realize that their jealousy is unnecessary and wait for them to come around especially if you’re unsure as to why your friends have changed all of a sudden.
Encourage Them To Get Help
Talking to your friend about their jealousy and finding out why they feel this way may help them to come to terms with their jealousy.
You could advise them to talk to others if they don’t want to talk to you. But don’t be surprised to see them turn this against you and try to make you feel bad or as if you are attacking them for who they are.
I can’t stress this enough, if these jealous friends bring nothing but misery to you, it is not worth making any effort at all with them. In fact, you’ll be much better off without them.
You can try to ignore it rather than feeding more into their jealousy by focusing on it. In fact, they may thrive on the attention.
Some of your friends may come around on their own and realize how petty they are and will make an active effort in trying to be a better friend.
Ignoring your friend’s jealousy will also be better for you, both emotionally and physically.
Focus on Yourself
There’s not much you can do to control the way your friend feels and are in no way responsible if they are jealous of you.
The last thing you want to do is blame yourself or become their punching bag. Focus on what you love doing, spend time with people who love you, and do things that will make you feel better.
If you feel like you’ll be happier without this person in your life, go ahead and cut ties with this friend. At the end of the day, you don’t need a friend who shows zero empathy or support for you.
You don’t need an enemy as your close friend.