Knowing how to tell if someone is your friend can save you from a lot of trouble, stress, bad company and painful experiences because, at the end of the day, friends have a great influence on us.
Someone who is your true friend will make an effort to meet you, will have your back in troubling situations, they’ll consider your needs, will be loyal and most importantly, trustworthy.
A true friend is someone who will have a positive influence in your life and together, both of you can grow into better people.
With that being said, let’s go over the 10 signs of a true friend so that you know exactly how to tell if someone is your friend or not.
1. A good friend makes an effort to contact you
Actions really do speak louder than words, even if the action itself consists of words. How ironic is that! We live in the age of technological advancement that was only dreamt of before.
We have the luxury of contacting anyone around the world instantly and with ease. Yet, socializing continues to be an area of life that is riddled with issues.
Just because we can do something, doesn’t mean most people will. For that reason, we can really attach value to someone who makes an effort to contact you without an ulterior motive.
That’s one of the telltale signs of how to tell someone is your friend. When they take the time and initiative to message, call or visit you to catch up and check on your well-being, it’s because they care about you.
And care is a genuine sign of friendship.
Related post: Why is my friend ignoring my texts?
2. They have your back in troubling situations
Ever heard the saying, when days are dark, friends are few?
Sad to say but there’s a ton of merit and wisdom to this quote.
Not everyone in your life is rooting for you. Not everyone who claims to be a friend actually cares enough to honor that relationship.
But those who do will go above and beyond to help you through trying and difficult times because your happiness and well-being matters to them.
There have been many situations when I was wrongfully attacked or stuck in a pickle, I turned to many friends but only a few really showed up for me.
It’s during those days when there’s nothing to be gained from a friendship that you actually find out who is a user and who is truly a friend.
3. They are considerate of your needs
I really believe that friendships have no room for unwarranted selfishness. Like any relationship, there has to be a degree of consideration and compromise.
From observing those who are usually characterized as good friends, you’ll often find that they are always open to accommodating their friends to ensure that everyone is happy.
I’ll give you an example of this. My brother was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that rendered him unable to walk without pain for a significant period of time.
Instead of his best friend ditching him to go out with others or going about his social life until my brother could heal up enough, he offered to find other ways to hang out.
Even if that meant physically assisting him to move around in a mall! Being that level of considerate and caring is nothing short of amazing and a sign of true friendship.
4. They are trustworthy
At the very core of a good relationship of any kind is trust. Without it, you have nothing.
Trust creates the perfect breeding ground for a friendship to last a lifetime and to withstand the storms of conflict.
A friend who can keep your secrets, defend your honor and safeguard the things you have is a true friend.
Someone who would respect boundaries and never make a move on your partner.
These are the qualities of a true friend.
5. They are not rude or insulting
Despite what we’re exposed to and led to believe, insults and big arguments are not symbolic of a good and healthy friendship.
Why should drama, stress and defeatest behavior be celebrated? That doesn’t make sense to me.
Some of the best friendships in my life have been with people who are genuinely polite and considerate about how they speak.
Words can have a huge impact on your happiness and confidence. Rude behavior and insulting remarks will eventually diminish you and cause resentment within the friendship.
What you want to look out for is intent. If your friend’s words actually have no malice behind them, then that is banter. Genuine insults and rudeness are a big no-no.
Related post: Do my friends actually like me? 17 Surefire ways to know
6. They support your dreams and goals
To find real fulfillment in life, I find the pursuit of purpose to be undeniable. It takes courage, belief, confidence and risk to pursue your dreams and goals in life.
That’s why we’re here, right? To pursue our true purpose in life which will eventually service society in some way or another.
Finding people who support you and cheer you on is indescribable.
Having a friend that motivates you, shows interest in your pursuit and advises you to your benefit is incredible.
Pay attention to how someone reacts and influences your goals and dreams. That’s how to tell if someone is a friend. Trust me on that.
Someone who breeds doubt within your heart, belittles you for trying to chase after your dreams or talks you out of doing something that is important to you without any justification is not a friend, let alone a good one.
7. They make an effort to hang out
Nothing can replace the time you spend with someone doing things and making memories with each other. Not only does this create a strong bond but it provides you with many opportunities to develop a better understanding of each other as well as communication skills to improve the friendship.
This can only be done by hanging out but you can only see someone who is willing to carve out a chunk of time from their demanding life for you.
And a real friend will do that. They will always make an effort to bridge the gap and meet you. It may not be as frequently as you may like but it still counts. Quantity is not the measurement for effort, in this case, quality is.
These days, the older you get, the less you see people who were once close to you.
Friends tend to make this fake excuse that they’re just too busy to hang out with anyone and that’s okay. I think that’s nonsense. Finding an hour in a few weeks to meet a friend is beyond easy. And I challenge anyone who says otherwise.
I’m willing to look at anyone’s schedule and I’ll be able to fit in an hour or two for their friends. If you have a friend in your life who makes an effort to meet you, cherish that.
8. They have an interest in what you have to say
For many of us to connect with another person beyond a surface level is through good communication.
We often mistake communication skills to be singular in nature. In other words, through the development of speech, you ought to be considered at communication. But, that is an incomplete picture.
At least 50% of communication is dependant on the ability to listen.
All of use are capable of tapping into our innate ability to listen with interest. So long as that person perceives your thoughts and words to be of value, they’ll have no problem with that.
Meeting someone who not only shows an interest in talking to you but also listening to what you have to say is special. This is definitely one of the tips on how to tell if someone is your friend.
9. They prioritize the friendship
I like to think that balance is important in life. We may not be able to perfectly balance every area of our lives but the pursuit itself brings about some amazing results.
Your social life and friendships deserve some priority. It not only benefits you but the people in your life because it’s time spent with each other in a fun, relaxing, sincere and memorable way.
When I ponder about life and death, I often think about what I’d be most grateful for having in my life. I wouldn’t be thinking about my job or an expensive watch or piece of clothing. Most likely, it’s going to be the people I shared my life with.
This means I’ll be thinking about my family and friends, those who passed away and those who will outlive me.
So when you find a friend who is taking the time to be in your company undistracted and with excitement, appreciate that. If they choose you over other people, appreciate that. They’re making you a priority which means that you are important to them.
Only a true friend would do that.
Related post: Can you have two best friends?
10. They have a positive influence on your life
In life, they say that you are the sum total of the 5 closest people to you.
Usually, we can just whether someone is good for you by the manner in which they influence you to do things. If the effect they have on you is positive, then that makes for a good friend.
Whether it be through holding you accountable for your actions, defending your honor, encouraging you to do good or motivating you to pursue things and people who make you happy.
These actions will have a tremendously positive impact on your life and you should embrace a friend like this with pride and joy.
A true friend may sometimes be hard to come by so it’s imperative that you know exactly what to look for so you don’t miss out on a great friendship.
Don’t waste your time on friends who are jealous, insecure, rude, mean and obnoxious. All they will ever do is run you down and constantly drain your energy.
A good friend will have the opposite effect on you. Trust me, I speak from experience. With that being said, I hope you found this article on how to tell if someone is your friend to be insightful and enlightening. Please feel free to leave your thoughts or questions in the comment section below.