Friends who get mad or upset when you say no to them can easily turn the tables and make it seem like you are the problem. They may even start to treat you badly simply because they can’t get their way. There is also a certain type of friend who may refuse to take ‘no’ for an answer and force you until you give them what they want.
So, what can you do? The best way to deal with this friend is to stand by your decision and wait until they come around. If they refuse to accept the reasons why you can’t say yes to what they want, it’s not your problem.
Dealing with a friend who gets mad when you say no isn’t as difficult as you may think however, it will require you to be bold and brave when making a firm choice to stand by your decision.
If you’re currently dealing with someone like this or have gone through this before, here’s a few things you should know:
Reasons Why Friends Get Mad When You Say No
They Don’t Like Being Rejected
Rejection often makes people feel like they are unwanted or not liked.
It usually boils down to self-esteem issues and saying no to them makes them feel like you are rejecting them in some way, even if you do have a reasonable excuse for not being able to do something they want.
They Use Anger To Manipulate
When someone gets mad at you, they can easily use this anger to influence you to do something they want.
They feel that if they treat you this way, you will get scared and give in to them for example, threatening to break ties with you. Some friends may even use this anger as an excuse to not talk to you in the future.
They Have Self-Esteem Issues
This friend might not know how to handle it when someone refuses to do something and project it onto themselves. They may feel that they are unworthy and instead blame you for feeling this way.
It’s also possible for this person to have narcissistic tendencies that make them react in an angry manner.
7 Things You Should Do When A Friend Gets Mad For Saying No
1. You’re Not Responsible For Their Feelings
When a friend is mad at you for not being able to accept them, you have to remember that it isn’t your problem with how they feel.
It could be something small and silly, like hanging out or going somewhere, if you can’t make it there’s no reason for them to get mad at you for saying no.
It usually comes from their lack of understanding towards you which is also one of the reasons why they could be mad. If you are willing to understand them, it’s important for a friend to give you that respect as well.
2. Consider The Situation
If your friend really has something that’s incredibly important to them or they are in a tricky situation and need help, perhaps you can adjust your plans to fit them in.
However, if you determine that your friend’s request isn’t as important, urgent, or perhaps you really have no way to help them, then there’s nothing for you to worry about.
It really depends on the situation because something really silly shouldn’t make your friend be mad at you for something that is out of your control.
If you truly are unable to do that specific thing they requested, they should learn to accept no for an answer without making you feel guilty, bad, or blaming you for the entire situation.
Related post: 8 Horrible Signs Your Friends Don’t Care About You
3. Explain Your Reasons Why – Be Honest
The best approach you can take towards this situation is to be honest at all times.
Try to explain to your friend why you are unable to do that specific thing for them and try to remind them that you aren’t coming from a bad place.
Even after you explain to them your reasons, a good friend won’t make you feel bad further but will understand even if they don’t like receiving no for an answer.
4. Don’t Feel Bad
Feeling bad that you’ve just made your friend mad at you isn’t advisable. Just remember that it isn’t your fault that they reacted in this particular way to you saying no.
You don’t have control over how other people will feel towards you but you have the ability to control how you feel about yourself.
There’s really no point beating yourself up over the fact that you had to say no or were unable to offer them assistance for whatever it may be.
If you can successfully deal with this friend in a mature way (especially if that person is acting incredibly immature about the situation) you’ll find yourself stronger than ever.
5. Wait For Them To Come Around
Rather than begging them to forgive you for saying no or trying to please them by making up in some other way even when they ignore all your efforts.
It would be best for this friend to figure things out on their own and come to an understanding that you aren’t intentionally being a certain way to them.
See also: My Friend Won’t Talk To Me After A Fight
Give them that space to realize how acting in an unpleasant way will never work and it won’t result in them getting what they want.
6. Be Careful of Toxic Friends
Toxic friends often have the reaction of icing you out or being mad at you for saying no to them. They may use this rejection to get back at you in some way or treat you bad continuously.
If this friend prolongs their anger and takes it out on you in some way, you have to reconsider if it’s worth being friends with them.
This type of friend can be emotionally draining on so many levels and will prove to be more of a headache being friends with them.
Related post: How To Tell If Someone Is Secretly Jealous of You
7. Accept Who They Are And Avoid If Necessary
For your own peace of mind, you can try accepting them for who they are and also try understanding why they might be mad at you.
However, don’t attempt to over please this person because it will only encourage them to act this way in the future.
Your friend should also learn to accept who you are and the times when you have been there for them.
They should also come to terms with the fact that being angry with you is not and should never be the answer to reacting to a situation when someone refuses to do something that they asked or are unavailable to help them.
In Conclusion
As long as a friend who is mad at you for saying no overcomes their annoyance in a short period or understands you after you explain to them why you can’t do a particular thing, then it should be fine.
However, a friend that continues to make you feel guilty or bad and portrays toxic behavior, should be someone you need to pay close attention to.
This kind of friend is someone who you really don’t need in your life especially if you’ve experienced more hardships than enjoyment while being friends with this person over time.
In the other case where you are refusing your best friend and love being around this person, give it some time for your friend to cool off so that they understand and accept your reasons without any negative feelings towards you.
If you guys are true friends, they’ll come around eventually.
The best thing you can do when dealing with any friend who is mad at you is to always keep your cool and be as mature as possible rather than reacting to them in a similar manner.
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